Many teenager like to meeting people through online dating sites. But is that a good thing? I don’t think so. In my opinion, meeting people through online dating sites have many dangers. Properly, the person you meet in online almost is a stranger. You must be protecting yourself. If you really go out with the person you meet in online. First of all, you can talk to your parents or your friends where and when you meet the person. And you must talk the name of the stranger to others. Second, you can go to the dating with your friend. It is much safety. Last not the least, if the person is a bad guy. You must run away, go to the place have many people, and call the police. After all, not to meeting any people through online dating sites are the best way.
第一行 like to meeting 要用原型 meet
回覆刪除第三行 the person you meet in online almost is a stranger. meet後面不用加in (後面的有寫到的句子也是)
You must be protecting yourself.這句怪怪的
可以改成 you must have to protect yourself.
然後他跟後面那句You must be protecting yourself. If you really go out with the person you meet in online. 可以合併
如果要讓語句通順一點的話 就是改成這樣: If you really go out with the person you meet online, then you must have to protect yourself.
倒數第三行if the person is a bad guy. You must run away, 可以合併
倒數第二行go to the place have many people 這樣寫怪怪的 改成go to the place where there are many people
最後一句not to meeting any people through online dating sites are the best way. 是is the best way喔
not to meeting any people through online dating sites是一件事情
last, 理由有點少耶~~~給多一點會比較有說服力XD
Many teenager 要加s喔~
回覆刪除to meeting -->to meet
But is that a good thing?我覺得thing可以改成way
--->But is that a good way to meet people throgh online?打完整會比較好喔
meeting people through online dating sites have many dangers. 我覺得這舉可以改寫成meeting people through online dating sites may result in danger. dander不可數喔~
Properly, the person you meet in online almost is a stranger.-->Generally speaking, the people you meet online are almost srangers.
You must be protecting yourself.If you really go out with the person you meet in online.
--> You must have to protect yorself from being exposing in danger if you makes up your mind to go out with he/she.
First of all, you can talk to your parents or your friends where and when you meet the person. --> Frist of all, you can inform your parents or freinds of time and dating location.
And you must talk the name of the stranger to others.---> And you must tell the name of the stranger to others.
Last not the least, if the person is a bad guy. You must run away, go to the place have many people, and call the police.
-->Last but not the least, if the person is a bad guy, You must have to run away, and go to the place where there are many people, and don't forget to call the police.
not to meeting any people through online dating sites are the best way.
-->not to meet any person through online dating sites are the safest way.
我有幫你改寫一些句子喔你看看吧^^
Properly, the person you meet in online almost is a stranger.
回覆刪除後面寫錯了喔!!!
are almost strangers.
If you really go out with the person you meet (in) online.
in不用喔~
you can go to the dating with your friend. It is much safety.
這幾句有點怪~
建議兩具合併~
Last (but) not the least才對喔!!!
After all, it is the best way to protect ourselves.這樣較好=)
Many teenager like to meeting people through online dating sites.(~teenagers~)
回覆刪除You must be protecting yourself.(~這句加被動怪怪的~直接you must have to protect ~就好了喔=)
If you really go out with the person you meet in online.(really後面加個want to才順喔)
And you must talk the name of the stranger to others. (must tell~)
Second, you can go to the dating with your friend. It is much safety.(much more safe than you go yourself ~)
Last not the least, if the person is a bad guy. You must run away, go to the place have many people, and call the police.(last “but”not the least~guy, you must run away and go to the place where are filled with crowd~)
After all, not to meeting any people through online dating sites are the best way.(To tell the truth, do not meet~is the best way to protect ~)
Many teenager like to meeting people through online dating sites.
回覆刪除-->Many teenagers like to meet people through online dating sites.
In my opinion, meeting people through online dating sites have many dangers.
-->In my opinion, there is a lot of danger in meeting people through online dating sites.
Properly, the person you meet in online almost is a stranger.
這裡用properly怪怪的
-->for example, almost every person you meet online is a stranger.
You must be protecting yourself.
直接用現在式就好囉
-->You must protect yourself.
If you really go out with the person you meet in online.
--> If you really want to go out with the person you meet online, there are some opinions for you.
First of all, you can talk to your parents or your friends where and when you meet the person. And you must talk the name of the stranger to others.
可整合成-->First of all, you can tell your parents or your friends where and when you meet the personand the most thing is to tell them the names.
Second, you can go to the dating with your friend. It is much safety.
-->Second, you can go to the date with your friend. It is much safer.
Last not the least, if the person is a bad guy. You must run away, go to the place have many people, and call the police.
-->Last but not the least, if the person is a bad guy, you must run away, go to the place where there are many people, and call the police.
if~~是副詞子句 所以和主要子句之間是用逗號喔~不要分成兩個句子
After all, not to meeting any people through online dating sites are the best way.
-->After all, not to meet any people through online dating sites is the best way to prevent yourself from getting into troubles.
像if這種用法要注意唷~
2nd have -> has
回覆刪除You must be protecting yourself. If you really go out with the person you meet in online.
-> In case of that you go out with a person you met trough the Net, you must protect yourself.
6th Last not the least -> Last but not the least
go to the place have many people -> go to the place with the crowd
最後一句 In a word, not to meet any one through the Net.
文章篇幅應該可以再多一點唷
回覆刪除加油!!
like to 後面要加原型動詞喔!
回覆刪除But is that a good thing?
>>>這個有點口語化
In my opinion, meeting people through online dating sites have many dangers.
>>>~has~
語法上有些錯誤要多注意