Many people drink a cup of coffee in every morning. It becomes their hobbits. Drinking a moderate amount of caffeine probably won’t cause you any harm. But drinking too much caffeine can have negative effects on your health. Someone not only drink a cup of coffee a day but drink more. If you drink four to seven cups of coffee a day, heavy caffeine use is more than 500 to 600.
First, caffeine is a thing can make people feel exciting and not to want sleep. If you drink too much, probably it will lead insomia fast. Seriously, it also might lead irregular heartbeat nervousness. That would be very terrible. Second, if you use caffeine for long time, the opportunity suffers from anxiety muscle tremors nausea or other gastrointestinal problems headaches are more than people who do not drink too many coffee or tea.
There are some of caffeine in coffee, tea and Cola. People like to drink them very much. But, you must be careful. Don’t drink too much, or disease will be coming.
every morning 前面應該不用介係詞唷~
回覆刪除It becomes their daily routine. 有比較好嗎＠ˇ＠?
If you drink four to seven cups of coffee a day, heavy caffeine use is more than 500 to 600.
這個句子不對唷!
First, caffeine is a thing(不是一鑑識是ㄧ樣東西唷) can(用will比較好唷)make people feel exciting(是excited唷) and (not to want sleep 這裡要用形容詞唷：awake). If you drink too much, probably it will (make you suffer from insomnia這樣有比較好嗎?).
Insomia這個字錯囉：是insomnia
Second, if you use caffeine for (a) long time, the opportunity(for those who) suffer(s) from anxiety muscle(,這是兩樣症狀唷，要有逗號) tremors(,這是兩樣症狀唷，要有逗號) nausea or other gastrointestinal problems (headaches這個出現在這裡的意思是= ˋ=?!) are more than people who do not drink too many(much) coffee or tea.
But, you must be careful and don’t drink too much, or disease will be coming. 最後可以用and接起來比較好看~
結論句寫的不錯欸~~
Many people drink a cup of coffee in every morning.
回覆刪除這句不用in喔~
hobbits-->hobby 或是habit
Someone not only drink a cup of coffee a day but drink more. 這句沒有講完整喔
文法也怪怪的呢
caffeine is a thing can make people feel exciting and not to want sleep.
a-->the， thing後面要+that，exciting-->excited
後面改成don't want to sleep
the opportunity -->the rate
然後論點可以再增多一點o__<
Many people drink a cup of coffee in every morning=>every morning前面不用介係詞喔><
回覆刪除Someone not only drink a cup of coffee a day but drink more.這句話感覺沒有完~改成A great many people drink more than a cup of coffee a day.
If you drink four to seven cups of coffee a day, heavy caffeine use is more than 500 to 600.
=>~,it caffeine contains more than 500 to 600.
First, caffeine is a thing can make people feel exciting and not to want sleep.=>first有點突兀/~is a thing which can ~/fell exictied/ and keep awake
Second, if you use caffeine for long time,=>for a long time
the opportunity suffers from anxiety muscle tremors nausea or other gastrointestinal problems headaches=>opportunity放在這邊怪怪的~用chance就可以了/anxiety muscle, tremors ,nausea
who do not drink too many coffee or tea.=>many-much
There are some of caffeine in coffee, tea and Cola這句話我覺得也有點突兀~
Don’t drink too much, or disease will be coming=>will come
Many people drink a cup of coffee in every morning.
回覆刪除不用in喔~
caffeine is a thing can make people feel exciting and not to want sleep.
這邊用thing怪怪的~
可改成 caffeine can make people feel exciting and do not want to sleep.
There are some of caffeine in coffee, tea and Cola. People like to drink them very much.
可改成~There are some of drink that have caffeine, such as coffee, tea and Cola which makes people enjoy about drinking them very much.
drink a cup of coffee in every morning
回覆刪除-->drink a cup of coffee every morning
cause you any harm.-->do you any harm.
Someone not only drink a cup of coffee a day but drink more.
--> Some people will not only drink a cup of coffee a day but drink more.
people feel exciting
--> people feel excited
not to want sleep
(因為前面是make所以後面要接原形動辭)
-->feel wakeful
for long time-->for a long time
the opportunity suffers from anxiety muscle tremors nausea or other gastrointestinal problems headaches are more than people who do not drink too many coffee or tea.
-->the opportunity for people who makes people suffer from anxiety muscle tremors nausea or other gastrointestinal problems headaches is more than those who do not drink too many cups of coffee or tea.
有進步唷~錯誤變少了
It becomes their hobbits.
回覆刪除>>>可以改成It becomes their daily routine.
But drinking too much caffeine can have negative effects on your health.
>>>可以改But drinking too much caffeine brings
文章可以增一些連接詞
drink a cup of coffee in every morning
回覆刪除這句不用in喔!!
not to want sleep.>> don't want to sleep
There are some of caffeine in coffee
>> There are some caffeine in coffee
1st Many people drink a cup of coffee in every morning. It becomes their hobbits.
回覆刪除我覺得可以合起來欸:D
// It becomes more and more people's habits to drink a cup of coffee every morning.
If you drink four to seven cups of coffee a day, heavy caffeine use is more than 500 to 600.
//這句前後的東西不一樣呢 改寫一下喽
6th make people feel exciting and not to want sleep
//make people feel excited and stay awake
7th it will lead insomia fast
->it will lead to insomnia
it also might lead ~~
// 是lead to喔 不過這裡我建議可以用其他自替換 避免重複
suffers from anxiety muscle tremors nausea
//anxiety 後面的東西 確定是這樣寫嗎?
最後結論句 我覺得挺好的唷!!